Chikadzu: In Fate we Tie
by Exilir De'Zarough
Summary: The story of a young, peniless man named Shingari Motochika, who joins the Chaotix as his only means of support, there he befriends Espio who is just as lonely and irritated with the world as he is. RR, NO FLAMES!
1. Loner

**Chikadzu: In Fate we Tie**

Chapter 1: Loner

Shingari Motochika was a lonely man, from his sad birth 17 years ago, to just last week, when a close friend of his vanished mysteriously, he never had an easy life, or a wealthy life. He made his way in the world by plundering people, there wasn't much else he could do, apart from starve.

It was midnight, on a pathway in Ou Xing City, his diamond eyes twitched, waiting for the first sign of food, sweat covered his half-starved face and his blue wavy hair rustled in the wind, yet his streak of silver remained still. He was a blue chameleon with black markings across his arms and feet, his only possessions were his shamisen and his garrotte.

Despite his loneliness, there had to be someone else, somebody who was just as lonely, who had witnessed the death of loved ones and suffered regular irritation from the world...


	2. Irritation

**Chikadzu: In Fate we Tie**

Chapter 2: Irritation

Before Story Note: I know this is boring so I'll make it a short as possible, for any of you who were wondering:

A Shamisen is a type of Japanese Guitar

A Garrotte is a length of piano wire used to strangle people

The title, 'Chikadzu' translates as 'Friendship'

It was just a normal day in the den of the Chaotix. Charmy was being **very** annoying to the rest of the gang, which caused Kuriba to tell him in an insane tone

"Charmy, I have had it up to here, with your little game of 'Be Annoying and then Vomit suddenly on the, rather cheap carpet'."

"Kuriba, you're not exactly a babysitter are you?" Espio told her in a sarcastic way

"No! I spent my years training as a kunoichi, learning guerilla warfare and hacking into computers. I have also perfected a way of indulging yourself in cannibalism without getting addicted, the secret is to grind the bones and put butter in the blood." she replied sheepisly

"Kuriba, you've got to learn to stop talking about your 'methods of cannibalism', it isn't good for your brain."

"Haha...well, at least I have several thousand expensive china plates with cats on." the word, expensive, caused Vector to light up but she crushed his hopes by saying

"No Vector! The last time that anyone bought stuff off me, they were questioned by the FBI, for apparently 'dealing in ecstasy'."

Kuriba was an anthropomorphic forest-green hedgehog with a slightly revealing metal breastplate, a blue skirt cropped at her right knee. She had opal coloured eyes and had a spiked buckler on her left hand. On her back, she had a large trident shaped battle rod, which was sheathed with a black crowbar underneath it.

"Um, why do we keep you around here again?" Vector asked her

"Don't start that again! You was the one that said 'The Chaotix need a computer hacker and a girl on the team.' Besides you wouldn't really deny me a home when I can kill you effortlessly."

4 hours later, the argument was still going on and Charmy had vomited seven times, Espio just looked out of the window and thought to himself

"Why do I hang around with these people?"


	3. Recruitment

**Chikadzu: In Fate we Tie**

Chapter 3: Recruitment

Before Story Note: Again, this is boring so I'll be quick

Kuriba has multiple personality disorder

Before any of you ask, _**no this is not a slash pairing story!!!**_

I mean it!!!

Shingari had woken up, he had a lot to drink the previous night, and he had lost a lot of blood. As he began to stir, he learned he was in a giant crate, and by looking through a small hole, learned of his destination. He saw that the crate was stuffed with books, as he crawled over to look at the front cover of one, he saw it was a Charles Dickens' book, he immediately began eating it and while stuffing his mouth with one of the pages, he murmured

"Books? Somebody up there likes me, I'll be eating dinner tonight!" However one of the sides began to open and he suddenly realised he was in front of the people this box was getting delivered to, he very slowly swallowed the page in his mouth and put the book down, he nervously stuttered

"I am...here to apply for a...a...job...yes I am here to apply for a job, in which I will hope to get money to feed myself with more books..."

"You poor, poor man..." Kuriba exclaimed half-crying while walking up to him, Vector and Charmy looked at Kuriba in shock

"Well he is, eating Charles Dickens' novels to survive!"

"Oh no, Charles...uh...Dickens, is gourmet to me, my usual diet consists of Dictionaries and Rat Dung..." Charmy then whimpered

"I've just lost my appetite for this tea I'm drinking..."

"You're too English!"

"And you 'Monsieur' Vector, are not English enough, in fact your so un-English, that the government has given me the hiring contract. Speaking of which, sign here love..." Kuriba told Vector while putting the contract in front of Shingari. Vector's jaw dropped, to which Kuriba tonelessly replied

"We're his only means of support." Her eyes changed from the normal blue to a feral red, then she lustfully stated

"Besides, he's hot enough for me in the 'Furnace'!" Her eyes changed again to a yellow colour, she then just smiled sheepishly. After Shingari finished signing the contract, Vector grabbed it from him and read it out

"Chaotix Detective Agency Hiring Contract

Person in-charge of said contract: Kuriba Sage

Applicant Details

Name: Shingari Motochika

Age: 19

Blood Type: IB+

Crimes Committed: If you count being poor as a crime, I've been committing it all my life

Lovers: All of them died of a mysterious disease

Crimes Prevented: None

Distinguishing Features: Silver streak in hair

Diet: Didn't I just tell you?

This contract when read out by a current member, introduces said applicant into detective agency." Shingari then suddenly asked

"Alright, where am I staying, the dumpster?" Vector started pondering and Kuriba yelled at him, then asked Charmy how many rooms they had spare, after learning there were no spare rooms. Kuriba's left eye turned feral while her other eye reverted back to the usual blue colour, in a half-lustful and half-normal tone, she told Shingari

"Looks, like you'll be sharing...but who with? Vector would floor you and put you in the dumpster, Charmy would drive you insane. And even though your hot, your not my cup of tea...and it seems the old locker has disappeared. How about the floor?"

"According to your plaque, there's somebody called 'Espio' here..."

"Look dear, Espio would not like another man sleeping in his room...you do not want to see him angry, I've only seen it once, but it's a very bad experience..."

"She's just jealous because he'd be living with you and not her..." Vector yelled

"V, how would you like to spend the night in the furnace?" Vector whimpered at the concept of this, Kuriba suddenly turned feral and stated

"Well, if Espio's angry, he's aggressive, I like aggressive people...it's his room for you Motochika!"

"Please don't call me that.."

"It's your name.."

"Not it's not Kuriba, it's Shingari, or whatever..."  
"V, he uses the Japanese name order; his name is, by our standards, Motochika Shingari. He's named after the famous general, Motochika Chosokabe."

"Just get in Espio's room." As Shingari walked up the stairs, Kuriba (in her yellow-eyed form) yelled gleefully

"Espio-pie should be back by tomorrow morning. The spare bed's in the cabinet. Be careful when you meet him Motochika-san..."

"Oh great she's started giving him names..." Vector murmured sarcastically

"She gives people names? What does she call me?" Charmy asked, Kuriba sighed and returned to her normal form, she told him

"Vector is V. Motochika is Motochika-san. You are Charmy-garu." She then went feral and continued

"And Espio, is Espio-sama, Espio-kei, Espio-aijin..." She changed to her cute form and continued again

"Espio-pie." She then went back normal again and finally said

"Espio-chijin, Espio-miageru, Hogosha-Espio and Atsuibuke."

2 hours later in Espio's room, Shingari was holding a necklace with a mysterious crest on it, and simply murmured

"Chosokabe..." Before going to sleep

Well, Shingari's in the Chaotix, and you're probably wondering what those various names mean. I'll give you clues on three on them, 'san' means 'Mr', 'Hogosha' means 'Guardian' and 'garu', well it's a demeaning name for a boy. Also should I continue calling Shingari/Motochika, Shingari or Motochika?

Story to be continued in Chapter 4, where Espio find out about Shingari Motochika and very weird things happen.


	4. Restlessness

**Chikadzu: In Fate we Tie**

Chapter 4: Restlessness

Before Story Note: Again, this is boring so I'll be quick

The character Marchesa (if you've read Hain you'll know who she is) appears in this story, if you don't know she's basically a psychotic female black widow spider who lives in Prague.

As Shingari began to stir, he heard a loud conversation between Espio, Kuriba and Vector.

"You can't just let a stranger in without consulting everybody!" Espio yelled

"We did...we just didn't consult you..." Vector replied

"Look...he is so poor..he eats Charles Dickens books, I mean if it was Shakespeare I would understand but come on...Dickens!!!" Kuriba fiercely shouted

"Look, you can't just let moochers in all the time..."

"Oh yeah you can talk Espio, how come you let Kuriba in?"

"Hey, that was different! Look he's leaving and that's final!" just then Espio was whacked on the back of the head and Shingari appeared 'from the shadows'.

"If I'm so unwelcome I'll leave..."

"No! I'm not letting you eat any more books!!!" Kuriba was determined not to let him leave and even went to the point where she blocked the door. Eventually Shingari settled to sleeping on the roof and whacking Espio one more time before moving.

A few hours later Espio was downstairs, everybody else was out showing Shingari, 'the sights of the real world'. The phone suddenly rang and Espio was on it like a very very slow ant.

"Hello, Chaotix Detective Agency, we're the maddest people around, we will accept suicide for the right pay, bla bla bla, who is this?"

"My name is Marchesa Julie Lee Chang Minerva Frosty Dung Black Serrated Widow. I'll be blunt, a slave was supposed to be delivered to me yesterday...and it wasn't. My 'informing dude' has given me reason to believe that it's in _your_ detective agency. I want you to capture him and take it to my lair in Prague..."

"What is the slave called?" Espio sighed not believing her

"Shingari Motochika..." an evil smirk spread across Espio's lips

"How much would we get paid?"

"If you drag the mission out to the full allowed time of one week, you will one million Euros converted into whatever sick currency you use. You'll get more if you do it quicker..."

"Good where do take it to?"

"1 Evil Street, Duca Fortress, Prague. And be quick about this hypnosis machine isn't going to repair itself!" just then everybody else came in, Espio lied and told them that 'some dude' wanted to meet all of them in Prague for 'no explained reason'.

4 days later in some street in Prague, the group were greeted by a short woman in a vampire costume and in a rather forced deep voice told them

"Welcome to Prague, mwahahahahaha! Home to the ball team the Prague Vampires, mwahahahaha! Buy a house, meet celebrities or random tourist information people, we have it all in Prague, mwahahahaha!"

"Alright first take off the costume, we're not eunuchs..." Vector told the lady while sighing, she then wailed

"Oh Mr Orange will fire me for this! Or is it Mr Grapefruit, no he's the head of the company, last week it was Mr Pineapple...oh...let me check...it's Mr Strawberry...oh woe is me!!!"

"What company do you work for anyway?"

"The Prague Fruits, Prague mwahahahaha! Oh why do I bother?" the enigmatic girl took off the costume, when a more 'open' view was available of her, the group saw she was a young anthropomorphic white hyrax with long white hair, she wore a t-shirt and trousers coloured the same way as the Czech flag and had grey shoes on. Her eyes were a silver colour, after a few seconds of mindless posing she then cheerfully sighed

"Hi, I'm Janet Johnson, crap tourist information girl but brilliant at tourist information!"

"That last bit didn't make sense..."

"So why are you here?"

"We're here to find a 1 Evil Street in Duca.."

"Ah Duca, that's uh...up there..." Janet pointed north to a huge gloomy fortress that seemed to detract from the pleasantness of the rest of the area.

"But...you need a visa to get in..." she told them

"My visa! Damn I left it at home!" Vector cursed

"I knew there was something I forgot..." the rest of them said seemingly in unison

"Well uh...Janet...you have a visa...how would you like to come with us?"

"Vector no! We've had this conversation several times!"

"But look at her...she's going to get fired from her crap job soon..."

"Kuriba! We've already taken in one moocher we're not taking in another! And what is that anyway?" Espio proclaimed after smelling something weird

"Oh that's my coconut essence!" Janet cheerfully exclaimed, after receiving several blank looks she just blankly said

"This way..."

What will happen next? Will Espio betray his friends to get rid of Shingari? Will Janet ever make sense? Will you review? The answer to the last question is yes by the way...


	5. Serpent Brothers 1, Sibling Rivalry

**Chikadzu: In Fate we Tie**

Chapter 5: The Serpent Brothers. Part 1, Sibling Rivalry

Unfortunately, the Chaotix were having trouble getting to Duca, one night Espio received a call from Marchesa explaining that blockades have had to be put around the city and that her husband grows ever more paranoid. With little choice, the Chaotix decided to use Janet's 'employee discount' and stayed in a flimsy travel lodge. However, soon after, they were visited by a strange visitor.

As the duck-taped door flew open, the visitor came into clear view, his feral eyes contrasted with his green scaly skin. A wet violet mop of hair flung down to his shoulders, and his fierce black armour screamed psychopathy. As it slithered into the room, Vector grew anxious in case of any more excitement, his nerves would soon be put to rest...

"I have heard of you people, with your ability to accept suicide if it means getting paid...I'm here for just that reason..." Vector's eyes glistened with hope...

"And you are?"

"Oh pardon, my name is Gilles Serpent..."

"Not the Gilles Serpent? Who mercilessly killed all those Watuti-Warriors in Death Gorge with just a slice of kiwi fruit?"

"Yes I am _that_ Gilles Serpent..." After a brief moment of shock, Gilles continued, in a slightly more raspy tone of voice,

"I am here because my brother and sworn enemy, Miles Serpent, has created a doomsday device which he plans to sell to the Dictator-Governor of Duca..."

"Oh my! So what do you want us to do about it?"

"Simple, this device causes agonising pain, but has the side effect of alternating the victims' gender. This is a fatal flaw, I want you to distract the governor and his wife during their memorial concert for their dead son, while I...smash up the device!!! We get declared heroes by the police and the pay is that I share the profits with you 50/50!" After catching his breath, he turned his head in anticipation. Thinking long and hard, Vector countered this strangely delightful offer,

"We're supposed to be a making some sort of delivery to the governor's wife, we can't ruin her concert, she won't trust us!"

Meanwhile in the other room, Espio and Marchesa were having a telephone conversation...

"That's all they've said so far..." Espio seemed calm

"Good, my husband will want to know of this...and...ah...that's a problem.."

"Why?"

"This so called 'memorial concert' is just a scam to bribe the local Mafia group on our side. Tell you what I have a different plan."

"Hold on a moment please..." Espio called for Vector and everybody else, while asking Gilles to step outside.

"So Marchesa, what's the plan?" Vector was on the phone,

"You go along with Gilles', but one of you stay off stage and hide in the room where the device is located. When Gilles and Miles encounter each other, the hiding person comes out, and says, using these exact words...

'Marchesa has given us authority to arrest you on grounds of an assassination attempt.'

You fight them both, knock them out, get them arrested, you get 100 of profit, more satisfaction, and my great plot will move one stage further..."

"What plot?"

"Just to get rid of all the rodents and terrorists infecting my country..."

"You mean your husband's..."

"No mine, he's only there for aesthetics, technically I rule the country...! If you do this, you get extra 20,000 on delivery, and a 10 discount of all things costing krona."

At the night of the concert, a man in a red suit came up to Marchesa,

"Lady Marchesa, this had damn best impress me, or you ain't getting no protection..."

"Trust me old friend it will..."

"Oh, and give my regards to your sister."

"My sister?"

"Yes, Marchion!"

"Oh damn...yes, yes, yes I will..."

The opening act, and several acts after that was Vector doing a pathetic attempt of Irish Dancing. And in another room, Espio was waiting for the Serpent Brothers to meet, but what happened next, was something that nobody could every expect...

To be continued...


	6. Serpent Brothers 2, Counterplot

**Chikadzu: In Fate we Tie**

Chapter 5: The Serpent Brothers. Part 2, 'Counterplot'

As Espio was looking for Gilles to come, he saw four hooded figures enter the room, one was carrying two butcher knives, another was holding an electric orb, the other two weren't holding anything. A tall, round reptilian creature entered the room holding several small axes in it's hand, it's sickly eyes and spiked black hair did not distract from the fact it's right eye was concealed in a strange red-diamond, in a semi-poetic chant, it simply said,  
"Hail Marchion, true queen of Prague..." to which one of the figures replied

"Hail Miles, minion of the Slav..." then they all had a disturbing conversation

"Hail Miles..."

"Where is your brother, Gilles..."

"He's had a delay..."

"A delay you say?"

"Hail Baeron, kitchen chef..."

"Hey you, I also act in Macbeth..."

"Hail Xalles, electro-maniac..."

"Without suffering I am crack..."

"Hail, who are you?"

"I think his name is, Koow?"

"You're bad at this chanting..."

"Why are you dogs not panting?"

"I'll have you know my name isn't Koow..."

"Then hail, who are you?"

"I can't tell you who I am..."

"Would you fools like some jam?" Espio was getting disgusted, and was even more so when one of them said,

"Enough of this poetry, now here we have the counter-plan, one for Baeron, one for Xalles, one for Miles, one for the other person, one for me and one for Gilles, I'll throw it in the chandelier for him..." Espio caught it very quickly before he read it out, all of the hooded people left, leaving only Miles in the room. The reptile blindly threw an axe at Espio and muttered,

"Don't be alarmed, I recognise you...yes...I knew your cousin John..." Espio started to look puzzled

"Yes John Smith your cousin, I made love to him..."

"Yes...so...person who knew my 'cousin', what are you up to?"

"Oh just poisoning the queen by giving her poisoned wine, reminds me of when I lost John, he drank some wine, and died right on the spot..." in an ironic twist he reached for some wine, and died right on the spot, a kunai had impaled his back, Espio simply whispered,

"Why does everybody say I have a cousin called John?"

Two hours later on the news,

"And the fluffy kitten played with the ball of yarn all through the night. On a lighter note two criminals, Gilles and Miles Serpent were brutally murdered today! Miles died of a stab wound in the back and Gilles' charred corpse left evidence of an exploding mule attack. Our queen Marchesa has assured that the murderers will go scot-free as they were doing a patriotic duty. On a much darker note the wine connoisseur was sacked yesterday for giving the queen 'Spavin' brand wine. She had this to say at the disaster..."

"How dare my servants give me Spavin. Spavin is urine from the fat ugly prostitute who it is named after, and worst of all it completely ruined my mood to have to order the execution of my fifth wine connoisseur today!"

"5-Star French pastry chef Baeron Bae of Baeshire has been hired as a replacement wine connoisseur and also as a cook. We hope that our queen survives longer than his previous client who died of knuckle poisoning and clubbed fingers..." In rapid concern, Espio opened and read the document he caught,

"Attention Miles Serpent, Gilles Serpent, Baeron Bae of Baeshire, Xalles Mina, Azrael and myself, Marchion

We all have a role to play in Marchesa's death so listen up. The plans are listed in order of which they should be carried out, if Marchesa dies at any point cancel all of this and meet me in Duca for celebratory cakes...for I shall be queen!

Miles and Gilles will try to assassinate her during her memorial concert to bribe the local mob lord. If a direct attempt fails then use the transsexual death-ray to kill her, and if she survives...then she can't be queen anymore.

Baeron will then get into the position of royal cook and attempt to poison her during her birthday.

Xalles and Azrael, you two are to receive orders at a future date.

Yours expectingly Marchion White Posh Formality Widow IX..."


	7. Behold! Delicious Turtle Soup

**Chikadzu: In Fate we Tie**

Chapter 7: Behold! Delicious Turtle Soup

Note: I would like to apologise for Chapter 6 being labelled Chapter 5

As Janet sat in her office, two dodgy travel agents were having a conversation,

"And I was down to my last two boxes, £250,000 in one, a penny in the other. The banker offered me £100,000, and no-no-no-no-no-no Noel Edmonds asked me the question 'Deal or No Deal?' I wanted to deal so I said 'no-no-no-no-no-no deal'. And for some unthinkable reason, he thought I'd said no deal."

"And what was in your box?"

"A penny..."

"Thank you Hallee and Zmit but we're here to discuss what happened in _my_ day not yours..." Janet interrupted with a bored expression on her face,

"So how was your day Janet?"

"Well, I was asked by four suspicious customers for a flight to Mongolia, they looked very similar to the people off M-Factor, so I asked them for their names..."

"What they looked like Arpeggio Tirel, Luke Boring, Karen Burning and Dannii La'Rogue?"

"Yes Zmit, so anyway I asked them for their names, and they said their names were Tarpeggio Irel, Buke Loring, Baren Kurning and Lannii Da'Rogue..."

"Did you believe them?"

"Of course I did, it's like not believing that Enoel Dmonds was different from Noel Edmonds, or that Victoria Adamswood was different from Victoria Beckham I...oh...damn!"

"What?"

"Adamswood is Beckham! I've just let the judges off M-Factor fly to Mongolia."

"And?"

"Well they're meant to be here in Duca for the live audition concert tonight, and the local mob group is after them for some reason, and they said they'd murder all us travel agents if they escaped!"

"What are you going to do?"  
"Simple, buy a flight to Mongolia!"

Two hours later at HQ, Janet was telling the rest about her dilemma

"Gentlemen, and lady, we have a serious crisis!"

"What?"

"If we don't make the M-Factor show go perfect, I'm fleeing to Mongolia!"

"Why wouldn't it be perfect..."

"Because the judges have fled to Mongolia! So I've come up with a plan!"

"Oh lord never a good sign..."

"Espio, Vector, Shingari and Kuriba are going to disguise themselves as the judges..."

"Yeah I can already see a flaw in this..."

"What flaw is that Vector?"

"There are two men and two women in the judging line up, in your plan there are three men and one woman. That means..."

"Yes Vector, you are going to be Karen Burning. Espio will be Arpeggio, Shingari will be Luke, and Kuriba will be Dannii..."

"Anything else?"

"While your distracting the crowd, I will distract the mob leader, and to make sure that cook doesn't try and murder us all, Charmy will watch him..."

"Watch him?"

"At all times..."

"Even when-"

"-Yes! At _all_ times!"

Three hours later (don't ask me why I'm doing so many time lapses...)

Janet was randomly walking when she saw Kuriba searching on the internet for something, in a polite child-like voice, Janet asked "What are you doing Kuriba?"

"I discovered this brilliant new site, it's called 'FanFiction', and some of the stories on it are great, especially the ones by Exilir De'Zarough."

"Who's he?"

"I don't know, his profile is full of quotes...but some of the others are really bad..."

"Like who?" They were interrupted by Shingari looking at a chair blankly

"What do you call this thing?"

"That's called a chair, you sit on it, like I'm doing...anyway, well Elementary is the worst, he doesn't use spell-check or anything..."

"Do you have anything on it?"

"Not yet, my pen-name is the same thing as my full name..."

"What is your full name?"

"Kuriba Applets Samantha Jane Emma Jean Oranges Pears Psychopathy Rosie Geraldine Julie Andrews To Kill A Mockingbird Molly Emma Louise Glover Farthest Bridge Spyro the Dragon Crash Bandicoot Wrath Of Cortex Victor Moritz Rachela Berlin Cerys Jael Tyra Banks Stupid Colin Last Name Unknown Russ Cargill Epa Thanks For Giving Me Your Pregnancy Pants Never Known Comfort Like This Do You Wanna Be On Top Oi I'm A Sage."

"I regret asking you now..." Janet became disturbed at Shingari looking at the chair.

"Shingari, chairs are for sitting on, like Kuriba is doing, see?"

In another room, Espio was talking to Marchesa on the phone

"Mr Espio, you have done well...but the time has come for the delivery to be made, bring me the mortal you call Shingari and you shall have your pay..."

Little did they know, that on the other side of the door...was Shingari!


End file.
